The CRUNCH: Sharing the load. CRUNCH deets: You both agreed. He’d take Saturday morning and you’d do the Sunday shift. But it’s been week after week after week of him forgetting/not waking up/ignoring your baby’s cries, until you’re forced to … Continue reading
Hope you all had a fun and relaxing break! We’re switching things up a little and will be posting Mondays instead of Tuesdays. I know… crazytown! Enjoy! The CRUNCH: Another resolution bites the dust. CRUNCH deets: Six days into a … Continue reading
Congrats to the winner of our Science Centre Tickets – Veronica! Thanks to everyone for entering, sharing, and reading! And Happy Thanksgivingukkah! The CRUNCH: All partied out. CRUNCH deets: Tis the season to be jolly. And to rock around the … Continue reading
Riding out the lows.
Some days it really feels like the universe is on your side. And some days… it’s just not. And then there are THOSE days: sick kids, broken appliances, fender benders, you name it. Those are the days when the universe is actually out to get you.
We have the best neighbours. Not the grumpy old man, who reminds us of Mr. Fredricksen on a bad day (too bad he hasn’t helium-ballooned his house outta here), but the family on the other side, who eagerly share their gazillion tools, invite the hood for nightly smores around their backyard fire pit, and gave us a key to do laundry for our DAILY loads during the SIX weeks that our machines were renoed out of commission. Seriously guys, they’re just that nice. So we all felt more than a little heartbroken for them in the summer when the Dad fell off a ladder (building a treehouse for his kids!) and broke both ankles and a couple of vertebrae. He’s been out of commission for MONTHS. But you know what the Mom said a minute after they got home from the hospital? We’re so happy he didn’t break his neck. How’s that for looking on the bright side?
Alex recently introduced Jack to an old fave: Finding Nemo. According to Alex “that lady who plays Dory is really funny.” True dat. She is also always, always optimistic. While other memory-challenged little fishies might refuse to swim out of the seeweed every morning, Dory keeps on keeping on.
If nothing’s going your way and you’re looking for a little somethin’ somethin’ to distract you and get your groove back, try this:
- Finish the phrase “But at least…,” just like our glass-half-full neighbour.
- Do something simple that hits your satisfaction button. Some days cleaning out a drawer might be the only way to feel like you’ve accomplished something. But at least you’ll accomplish something.
- Do something for someone else. I know – you’re doing everything for everyone else every minute of every day. But if you pay it forward to a friend/acquaintance/stranger, you might actually get to hear a thank you. Woot! You can tackle manner-teaching when you’ve got more energy – we all gotta pick our battles.
- Stick to a general routine as much as you can. Letting the dishes/dinner/dirty pile of clothes slide for too long will only make you feel even more bummed and undermotivated. Same goes for exercise. Just because you’ve missed it for a week or three doesn’t mean you can’t get back on that horse, or, er, bicycle.
- Meditate. It’s only about the millionth time I’ve said it, right?
- Try something you’ve been wanting to try for far, far too long. I’m not talking cooking five-hundred and twenty-four recipes to Master the Art of French Cooking: over-committing is a set-up for even more frustration. This summer I went to my first ever Shakespeare in High Park. I’m not even a big Bard buff, but it’s been on my list for FIVE summers now. It was a less-than two-hour time commitment and I walked away totally inspired. Set the bar low and you’ll always be happily surprised.
- Break out those theme songs! Or any non-kid-related songs. Doesn’t matter if you’re listening with your munchkins, they need to learn an appreciation for all kinds of music just as much as they need to learn the world doesn’t revolve around them and their love of Raffi.
- Create your own silver lining playbook containing quotes/affirmations/jokes. Write them in a positivity journal and just try to feel bad when you peruse. I’ve got a zillion faves, from the inspirational (You may never know what results come of your actions. But if you do nothing, there will be no results) to the animated (you got it: Just keep swimming).
- Talk it out if you really can’t shake those blues. Find a listener who’ll listen without interrupting or trying to solve your problems. If no one you know fits the bill, try a hotline, such as one of these ones. They’re not just for emergencies peeps, most callers are regular people who just need a little extra support.
Even Gandhi had doubts, guys. Gandhi! When doldrums set in and your mind gets stuck in that negativity rut, the main mantra to remember is “This too shall pass.” It’s also wise to keep it in mind when you’re flying high – helps you appreciate those highs even more.
Leave a comment below or contact us if you have anything to add or ask!
We’ve finally added a comments section guys… baby steps. Hope you like it! And use it! And enjoy today’s CRUNCH!
Image source: Lennon and Maisy
Criticized to the Max.
It’s hard to ignore looks from other playground parents when your sweet babe’s freaking out. But it’s even harder to ignore words. When that lady stopped you on the sidewalk to berate you for whatever it was she was going on about, you just had to zone out. No point listening if it’s only gonna escalate an argument. And you had to concentrate on breathing. Deeply.
Brush it away.
When our oldest was a toddler, we used to “brush” his boo-boos away with a comforting sweeping hand motion. Throw in a cuddle, his Lightning McQueen ice pack, a band-aid or six, and the distraction of the month… all better.
No doubt you read THE letter that made headlines last week. If you were lucky enough to be at the cottage (hi MJ!), on honeymoon (hi Martina!), or scouting schools in Mexico (hi B!), and missed it, the gist is that “One pissed of mother!!!!!” wrote a letter “To the lady living at this address” demanding she hike it out of town because of the “DREADFUL!!!!!!!!!!” noise her autistic thirteen year-old son (Max… see what I did with there?) makes that “scares the hell out of my normal children!!!!!!!” It was printed, which means it wasn’t spur-of-the-moment, and she spent enough time to second-guess correctly. No such wisdom. She anonymously slipped it in the mailbox, natch (even a punctuation-challenged jerk knows when she’s crossing the line). In case the page of insults wasn’t clear, the cowardly mother added to “Do the right thing and move or euthanize him!!!!” To say this is NOT COOL is so, SO, much of an understatement. Did I mention the part about donating his “non-retarded body parts” to science?
While we’ve never received “advice” so extreme, we’ve heard PLENTY o’ thinly veiled criticism. And some not so thinly veiled. It seems a heckuva lot of parents/grandmas/DINKS who don’t know us or anything about us just can’t zip it when it comes to mitts/shoes/thumbs. Sometimes they’re polite, and sometimes not so much. Sometimes we’re polite, and sometimes not so much. On a good day, I’ll reply something like “I’m sure you love receiving advice you haven’t asked for just as much as I do.” This keeps me calm while getting the message across to leave us the eff alone. I can walk away from them, but the conversation stays on replay until I’ve had a good rant/sweat/choc/drink, depending on my distraction of the month. It doesn’t work right away, but leaning on my besties and band-aids helps me move on, sooner or later. I never forget.
We have to remember that those who mind don’t matter, but we also have to remember that we’re all in the same struggling, second-guessing, self-inflicted-guilt boat. Guys, we ALL judge each other, but we gotta keep it to ourselves. I’m not saying we’re as cruel as that unenlightened bully-biatch, but no one needs criticism from a stranger, no matter how polite. Full disclosure here peeps, I instinctively think hat/helmet when I see a baby/bicyclist in need – I’m a fair, freckly gal who used to work for a neurosurgeon. But I keep it to myself. I’ve also been a little judgy about Miley and Robin, and not so quiet about it. How the heck was that soft-core censor-approved? And, more importantly, um, the message? I’m seriously scared for our daughters if that’s the kind of role model graduating from Disney U these days. I smell a self-respect CRUNCH coming soon to a blog near you. But back to my point. Even if it really, really sounds like a friendly suggestion to you, and they really, really look like they need it, it will be really, really poorly received. Unless they ask. I’m guessing (hoping) that reading is your way of asking, because I’d hate to sound like a preachy know-it-all who doesn’t know when to quit. There are already far. too. many.
I hope Max’s fam feels ALL the good vibes being sent their way. Super tough situation – not that they’ve ever had it easy. Added to the daily challenges of autism and raising two boys, Max’s mom is in a wheelchair and has multiple sclerosis. Yup, tough. Their community seems to be rallying around them… yay nice people! Keep it up – they need support today just as much as they will next month/year/decade.
Sticks and stones may break our bones but words… hurt even more. Surrounding yourself with people you love and things you love doing when someone’s behaving badly is the only way to pull yourself out of the fog. Twerking is not recommended – unless it’s with your honey and, ya know, private.